Y Tuesday, August 03, 2004
[10.59pm]
Today is a "mixed" day for me... with mixed feelings. I should be very happy today as it's my boy boy's birthday. I've planned to take half day and have a nice lunch and shop and go home eat home cooked dinner by my mum as she's going to cook crabs!
But things happen. My grandfather passed away. It was a sudden death. No one expects it. Neither do I. I've wanted to go this afternoon after work as last night I was studying, thus couldn't make it. It was too late. He died 11 + am. I was devasted. I quickly apply for 1 hr time off to rush to the hospital, hoping to see him for the last time. I took a cab over.
At the hospital, I was frightened. Frightened to go and see that he had really died but anxious to see him for the last time. I walked slowly. Hoping everything is not true. I walked to his ward and saw my aunts outside crying. I knew it was not a dream. I walked up to his death bed and saw him. So peacefully. Tears flowed like a river. Heart broke to see him there. I wished he was just sleeping.
We had to call up the casket to bring his body back to Beach Rd for wake. Had to wait for the death cert and claim it. I went back to Beach Rd 1st. Saw the tents building up. Was a strange feeling. Everything went so fast and before I knew it. His coffin was here. We had to walk round the coffin to see him the last time. I held my sister's hand tight as we walked past. Tears flowed again, and the guy say do not cry. How can I not cry! It's not a choice. It's feelings. And you can't stop. We walked on not looking back as they need to seal off the coffin. We stood there crying.
He's not my real grandfather. We are not actually blood related. But he watched me and my sisters grew up. We used to live together in Beach Rd before I moved to Hougang. He bought me sweets and ice creams and bought me out. Everything is now gone! Only memories. Sweet memories. My "Ah Gong" is no longer with me and I can't call him again.
Never Another Chance...
[11.12pm]
footprints left @ 11:12 PM
